A Modest Proposal: The State of Africa

A Modest Proposal by Muhammed Baldeh (A Satire in the Tradition of Jonathan Swift)



Muhammed Baldeh, Staff Writer

As a man who identifies as African, I have become increasingly aware of the many problems my continent faces. A lack of respect for rule of law, outright corruption; and we should face it, we are just incompetent and inferior to our European counterparts.

To confront these many problems, I have devised a plan which I consider, in humblest terms, to be absolutely genius. I propose that Africans return to the great days of colonial rule and forfeit our autonomy back to the Europeans. It only makes sense to go back to a time when we had a sense of order.

My critics would call me reactionary or too extreme, but it is only rational to return power in the hands of our superiors. The “proud” Africans amongst us may feel that the term “superior” should not be used when addressing white people, but why not? Do we not worship a “white” god in our churches? Do we not disregard our regional alliances and make better trade deals with “white” nations? Do we not steal from our state coffers to send our children to be educated in “white” nations?

Under the leadership of our superior cousins, we may see a striving Africa again. The Europeans will find efficient ways of extracting and processing our raw materials, a task we have miserably failed. These materials would be shipped over to their continent of course, but it is only fair, for we Africans deserve nothing. We are blessed with an amazing territory, vast in its size and completely overflowing with resources but if we do not possess the ability to use that to our advantage, it is divine justice that the Europeans do so.

Many foolish men have tried formulating other routes to take, me the most foolish amongst them. They speak of uniting Africa under a stronger union. As if Tribalism has not defeated any hope of unity. They speak of fostering education. As If that has not been deemed a folly by our youth’s constant quest of immediate gratification. They speak of eradicating our corrupt leaders. As if they too would not succumb to corruption if given the power.

To conclude, I believe arguing over this issue is a luxury not granted to us due to the factor of time. We should quickly find ways to expedite the transition from independence back to colonial rule and make ourselves as resourceful as possible when assisting the whites. The more time wasted, the deeper we plummet into a state of no return. Act fast, as the sands of time wait for no man.